Finding Brooklyn-My Autism Journey

“Having a child with special needs has changed my life. It's made me more aware, more compassionate and has taught me to be patient. I'm not so quick to judge the mom with the screaming kid in the grocery store or just assume that a wailing kid is being bratty.

Someone once told me, "Lots and lots of love can overcome other shortcomings. "So, I love my children as much as I can, and I hope that they carry that with them through life”.

LIGHT UP BLUE FOR AUTISM APRIL 2nd

In 2007, we were blessed with a beautifully healthy baby girl named Brooklyn Madison Velasco. She was my first child, and I had very little experience with children. Brooklyn hit all her physical milestones like a typical child, but at age two, we noticed her lack of eye contact and a speech delay in simple age-appropriate words. That’s when we knew.

Brooklyn was a very quiet child. She preferred playing quietly by herself, rather than being in a room with other noises or people. At two. she was non-verbal and was very sensitive to smells and textures. She had a very basic diet that consisted of the same EXACT things at the same time every single day. There were definitely red flags emerging. As a first time parent, I didn't really know where to start for help in confirming whether or not there was something wrong. After Brooklyn’s third birthday, my husband and I decided to take the advice of a family friend and seek help from our local school district. Now, I've heard horror stories from other parents about reaching out to the school districts for help, but I must say, my experience was truly amazing! Klein ISD had remarkably patient professionals who walked us step by step through the process (which took over 6 months). After numerous assessments by several different type of therapists, we were able to finally get an answer. On the spectrum, Brooklyn is considered to be a "high- functioning Autistic" child. To say the least, it was a mighty blow for the family. I went through so many emotions. From guilt to “what do I do now?” Am I strong enough to deal with a special needs child? How will this change us as a family? Then it hit me. By then, I had a 2 year old son, and I feared that he also could be on the spectrum. It is truly a parent's worst nightmare.

Autism was so unknown to me and my family that we decided to jump in feet first and learn everything we could to help Brooklyn. I knew, if we didn’t fight for her, who would? I would be her voice. The school district became the light at the end of the tunnel. They not only placed Brooklyn where she could learn from people who had the experience and knowledge to help her, but they also helped to educate our family. Sending Brooklyn to school for the first time was not an easy pill to swallow. She didn't cry as she entered her class. She let go of my hand, and for a moment, looked over her shoulder with a little uncertainty. It's a physically painful thing to let your three year old child, who cannot speak, go with complete strangers. No one knew her the way I did. Would they know when she was hungry? Would they know when she had to potty or if she was sad or unhappy? It was emotionally draining. On top of the daily hurdles of having an autistic child, I still had to have love and strength left for my other child, my marriage, my career and family.

After several months, I made the painstaking decision to retire early from my position with the Harris County Sheriff's Department. I had been there for fifteen years. Don't get me wrong, I love my children more than life itself, but I left a piece of myself behind when I left my position. It was like being a part of family there. I truly loved what I did and who I worked with, so the decision didn't come easy. Even more difficult, it also meant cutting our household income in half, while still providing for her special needs. During the next two years, we read everything we could get hands-on about Autism. We got involved with Autism Speaks, started our fundraising walk team "Brooklyn's Butterflies", raised money baking and selling cookies, T-shirts, headbands and walking to raise awareness and funds. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for the response we received from fundraising. We were getting donations and offerings from people that had never even met my daughter, but they had been effected by Autism somehow and we shared a bond. It was so successful, that we were able to put on a full-blown fundraiser "Racing for Autism" twice over two years. We even raised thousands of dollars, while educating the public. After two years of public school, we made the decision to transition to a private Christian Elementary school. It was the best decision we've ever made. The classes were very low ratio, the teacher was amazingly patient and loving. Although this school could not provide special services that public school could, the transformation we saw in Brooklyn was astonishing! She'd had 2 years of speech therapy while in public school, so her speech was coming around, but still not as good as the typical Kindergarten child. At the end of her Kindergarten year I was proud of being a stay-at-home mom that had faced and conquered my fears of Autism. We learned what type of environments that Brooklyn could be in, we discovered ways to avoid meltdowns. Putting ourselves on very structured schedules and keeping things simple made all the difference. We don't go to events on weekdays or places that may overstimulate. We eat at restaurants that Brooklyn will eat at and are not to overpowering with smells. Most importantly, we surround her with people and other children that accept and love her just the way she is. We are all so unbelievably blessed to have a big family that supports us 100% in the decisions we make for Brooklyn. When you have a child with Autism you learn NO CHILD WITH AUTISM IS THE SAME. Autism is so unbelievably complex and the spectrum is so vast. They are all special in their own right. Even though Brooklyn has started to find her own path, as her mother, I still have fears. Will all children be as accepting, will she grow up and be independent, will she experience the joy of having a child? I don't live their life but I live mine and I've seen the looks and heard the opinions of how we "should" being doing things. We are doing the best we can and my child is a child of God, she is happy and she is loving what more could a parent ask for?